We Secretly Like the French: An Olive Branch From America


Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys of the world, lend me your ear. Americans secretly like you. Maybe it is hard for us to say but you are way too like us. It is time for this American to bridge a gap that has grown too wide.

Why do we hate the French? Well, you are opinionated, cynical, have better food, and refuse to speak English. You work less, seem more relaxed, and have some wonderful history to fall back on. Put any citizen of the USA in your position, and they would eat it up. We too don’t listen to others well, are opinionated, and remain generally cynical. Maybe everyone hates those that are similar to themselves.

Ok, so you live in a socialist society. We will agree to disagree, but we share more that we care to admit. You saved our butts in the Revolutionary War. The Marquis De Lafayette has a street or a town named after him in every state. We share the love of liberty. The French are always down for a good fight, and are all too aware of the consequences of war. When Russians invaded Georgia, the French took the lead. Some would claim it was the EU, but it took many in the USA by surprise. That is the France of the history books, the one that is still alive and breathing. Any Franco-haters, I included(It is fun), will give you hell about WWII. Yes we assisted in the retaking of your country. We owed you one. Even if we considered it even, there is not an American that would blink if asked to do it again. That is the secret. We actually like you, because we are like you.

I have had many chances to have a good glass of wine with the French. The same social dynamic is present in both countries. The residents of cities like NYC or Paris are generally assholes. I found the secret to getting along with a person from either city is being an opinionated ass. I have no shortage in this department. I was also raised for a time in the countryside. County people everywhere are the same. they work hard, play hard, and are ruggedly independent. Add to that a genuinely welcoming spirit and, I can say the people of the French countryside are wonderful people. If you have a chance to have a drink with one, I suggest it. It reminds me of home.

Why do we like you? I have no clue. Maybe it is the fact that you cling to your culture and language when you are attacked on all sides by our encroaching influence. In the same position, my people do the exact same. I know Anti-Americanism is the flavor of the decade in Europe. I think it is very Un-French to go along with the crowd. You have lead the way in art and culture long before the USA was founded. There is no reason we cannot coexist. We both share common threats from the outside world, out methods are different, but that makes us unique. Never hang out with people who agree with you all the time.

I know many will see this post as a radical diversion from my normal content. I don’t. Why write this post? No clue. Maybe some things just need to be said out loud. So till next we meet, adieu.

I would try and write this post in French, but then I remember my Twain.

“In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.”
–Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad (1869)

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~ by gotea on September 6, 2008.

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